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Heh,
Hope you're all well, strong...
I have recently confronted 333.
Approximately a year ago, I came out of the trance of sorrow. Suddenly, I saw the reason for my life, understood the necessity of all its events, and the curse becoming a blessing and so on. This followed the whole bit about the internecine conflict of the mind, etc -- that forced me to look at the matter honestly, and which brought about a temporary transendence of all things ego and personality. I had attained, so I thought. Suddenly I knew what number was. I had the Voice and a number and a purpose as well. Gone was the sorrow and the debilitation (which later returned however) and there was the beginning of Understanding. Before I knew it, I was proclaiming *Truth* to everyone, and I was well--happy, powerful, doing my will which appeared to harmonize with others. I was conscious of lying and of deceiving however. Promising things I had not perfectly experienced and boasting of others. I saw that something was wrong and thought it best to shut up and leave these matters be until the time I could speak and act with certainty. However, matters grew progressively worse. A month prior I went into a room I had reserved, it seems now--in anticipation for this event--and went in and performed the 1001 affirmations. This externalized 333. He mimicked me in my "genuflection" as though a mirror image of myself was presented. Our noses were almost touching. I was never afraid. This is odd, for I have battled with cowardice in many forms, most of my life.
I gave it the sign of Silence and this troubled spirit faded away. Now, I doubt whether all my studies, and Communications, were not the machinations of this atrophied ego - so to speak. But this matters less as it is in the Past.
However, I am interested in learning of anyone's thoughts in the hopes that common experience be verified in the interests of science. 333, 983, 256 are numbers predominating these experiences. I am particular interested in this 256 and the Adept's *proper* relation to this officer. I have recieved injunctions on this matter that appear contrary to the Law. 256, who is dog-faced has *ruined my life* (so the ego would say), and mocked me and made a point of betraying me to my every companion and even fellow traveller on the Path. Thus has she freed me from all that which restricted me. And for this I am grateful of course. Yet, when I confront this person, lies are returned to me. I respect lies as weaker individual's attempt to preserve their wills from the possible spiritual influence of others (which the liar perceives in the judgment--supposed or not--of the individual being lied to). And yet, I will not suffer lying spirits--and yet I will not refuse any Seeker, and it pains me to put these people up against the wall so to speak, and extorting answers from them (they are afraid in my presence) against their wills. They have their own work to do and I have mine, which includes, I believe, a material resolution to this matter along the lines of common sense. 256 tells me it is all in my head, and I don't doubt that it is all in 333 and yet I feign doubting 333's intuition. Is this Wise? It may simply have been paranoid delusion, as 256 tells me. I refuse to think upon the matter unless new evidence comes to light and will carry on doing what I do with indifference on the matter--except in the interests of scholarship.
I am also curious about the number 79 which appears to me in the form of a Choice. Again, I wonder if others have not witnessed this, and whether these are common experiences.
Why are some NEMOs morning stars and others evening stars? If all those who are not come to Understanding, bow their heads and offer up their arms to the chains of Choronzon, then by manifesting him and continually transcending him, would this not be a great and ready method to accomplish the Work in bringing others to the Gate?
Are there any M.'. T.'. 's out there? What is Understanding in your words?What's happened to the Aleph?
I am fit and well. Hope you all are also.
Hope you're all well, strong...
I have recently confronted 333.
Approximately a year ago, I came out of the trance of sorrow. Suddenly, I saw the reason for my life, understood the necessity of all its events, and the curse becoming a blessing and so on. This followed the whole bit about the internecine conflict of the mind, etc -- that forced me to look at the matter honestly, and which brought about a temporary transendence of all things ego and personality. I had attained, so I thought. Suddenly I knew what number was. I had the Voice and a number and a purpose as well. Gone was the sorrow and the debilitation (which later returned however) and there was the beginning of Understanding. Before I knew it, I was proclaiming *Truth* to everyone, and I was well--happy, powerful, doing my will which appeared to harmonize with others. I was conscious of lying and of deceiving however. Promising things I had not perfectly experienced and boasting of others. I saw that something was wrong and thought it best to shut up and leave these matters be until the time I could speak and act with certainty. However, matters grew progressively worse. A month prior I went into a room I had reserved, it seems now--in anticipation for this event--and went in and performed the 1001 affirmations. This externalized 333. He mimicked me in my "genuflection" as though a mirror image of myself was presented. Our noses were almost touching. I was never afraid. This is odd, for I have battled with cowardice in many forms, most of my life.
I gave it the sign of Silence and this troubled spirit faded away. Now, I doubt whether all my studies, and Communications, were not the machinations of this atrophied ego - so to speak. But this matters less as it is in the Past.
However, I am interested in learning of anyone's thoughts in the hopes that common experience be verified in the interests of science. 333, 983, 256 are numbers predominating these experiences. I am particular interested in this 256 and the Adept's *proper* relation to this officer. I have recieved injunctions on this matter that appear contrary to the Law. 256, who is dog-faced has *ruined my life* (so the ego would say), and mocked me and made a point of betraying me to my every companion and even fellow traveller on the Path. Thus has she freed me from all that which restricted me. And for this I am grateful of course. Yet, when I confront this person, lies are returned to me. I respect lies as weaker individual's attempt to preserve their wills from the possible spiritual influence of others (which the liar perceives in the judgment--supposed or not--of the individual being lied to). And yet, I will not suffer lying spirits--and yet I will not refuse any Seeker, and it pains me to put these people up against the wall so to speak, and extorting answers from them (they are afraid in my presence) against their wills. They have their own work to do and I have mine, which includes, I believe, a material resolution to this matter along the lines of common sense. 256 tells me it is all in my head, and I don't doubt that it is all in 333 and yet I feign doubting 333's intuition. Is this Wise? It may simply have been paranoid delusion, as 256 tells me. I refuse to think upon the matter unless new evidence comes to light and will carry on doing what I do with indifference on the matter--except in the interests of scholarship.
I am also curious about the number 79 which appears to me in the form of a Choice. Again, I wonder if others have not witnessed this, and whether these are common experiences.
Why are some NEMOs morning stars and others evening stars? If all those who are not come to Understanding, bow their heads and offer up their arms to the chains of Choronzon, then by manifesting him and continually transcending him, would this not be a great and ready method to accomplish the Work in bringing others to the Gate?
Are there any M.'. T.'. 's out there? What is Understanding in your words?What's happened to the Aleph?
I am fit and well. Hope you all are also.
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